If Your Favorite Halloween Characters Had Email Signatures

October 31, 2018 Jess Engel

Alright ghouls and gals, it’s time to pumpkin spice up your life with a bit o’ Halloween cheer! From fake cobwebs to haunted houses, we are 100% into this haunted holiday. Creepy corn maze? We’re in. Costume party. What time? Hay ride. We’re driving. That being said, let’s Trick o’ Treat ourselves and imagine how fangtastic it would be if our favorite Halloween characters had Sigstr email signatures. Ok then! Let’s scary on…

Ichabod Crane

Let’s be honest, Ichabod Crane was the original substitute teacher. Unassuming and gullible, he looked like a scarecrow and couldn’t quite see that - in the end - the joke was on him. If it’s a been a hot minute since you read The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, here’s the SparkNotes: Ichabod comes to town and falls for a pretty girl named Katrina. His affections are challenged by the town bro (Abraham "Brom Bones" Van Brunt) who spooks him with tales of a headless Hessian soldier/ghost. The story ends with Ichabod having a dramatic meet up with this Headless Horseman who runs him out of town by throwing his “head” at him (99.9% sure this was just a pumpkin chucked by Brom Bones).

Scooby Doo

One part Nancy Drew, three parts scaredy cat, Scooby Doo is the answer to all your ghost, monster, or paranormal problems. Joined by a psychedelic team of teenage investigators and the flower power of the Mystery Machine, Scooby Dooby Doo uses a bit of dumb luck and canine courage to unmask creepy culprits and save the day. Need to rid your house of Casper? Who ya gonna call? Four guys with vacuums, or a snack-happy Great Dane?

Dracula

Ah-ah-ahhh…the Prince of Darkness himself. Equally aristocratic, refined, and fixated on your neck, this historical figure has ruled the night and costume aisles for decades. Inspiring endless classic films, and sparkly, swoony vamps alike, Count Dracula is synonymous with Halloween…and very much undead.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

We have very fond memories as kids on Halloween. Hopped up on sugar, surrounded by candy wrappers, watching Linus, and waiting excitedly for The Great Pumpkin. Here’s what we can’t remember…does the mythical pumpkin actually appear? Wikipedia is telling us no, so we must have been in too much of a candy cloud to stay focussed. Regardless, this classic Peanuts film plays every year to kick off the fall season (sorry, Charlie) and celebrate the magic of Halloween night.

The Addams Family

[Cue the synchronized snapping] This classic American family is - as they say - creepy, kooky, mysterious and spooky. They love all things macabre, are blissfully unaware of their weirdness, and make no apologies to their neighbors. Before Gothic was a fashion trend, they rocked it. Not to be confused with The Munsters, The Addams Family is a staple for all things creeptastic and make disembodied hands, hairballs with hats, and awkward family photos unforgettable and all together ooky.

Jack Skellington - The Nightmare Before Christmas

Brought to you by the master of all things cinematically spooky, this claymation creation from Tim Burton centers on the King of Halloween Town, Jack Skellington, who longs for a world a bit less ghoulish. Thus begins his desire to jingle his way into the pure festivities of Christmas Town. In a Grinch-like twist, things don’t go quite as he envisions (cue the screaming children) and Jack inevitably returns to where he belongs, but with a sprinkle of snow and a bit of Christmas magic.

Frankenstein

Live. Live. LIVE!!! Halloween doesn’t quite seem complete without an ode to lightning bolts jolting an extra large creature to life. More gentle giant than monster, Frankenstein is really a story of “be careful what you wish for” and - sadly - loneliness. Not to be confused, Victor Frankenstein is the scientist responsible for the famous monster, and his creation is the sad soul just looking for love (we’re not crying, you’re crying).

Hocus Pocus

A cult classic that remains popular in its basic witchiness, Hocus Pocus follows a villainous trio of witches who come back to haunt a modern Bostonian neighborhood for a spell. Armed with enchantment, musical numbers, and 90s effects, this Halloween gem starts playing on October 1st and doesn’t stop until ABC Family starts up 25 Days of Christmas. So sit back, grab a spiked cider, and go amuck, amuck, amuck!

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